Intro
Welcome readers! This blog is part 1 of a 2-part blog series dealing with the content I we expect to make and change for 2020. This first part will focus on the motivating factors for me that led to these changes. The next part will focus on what content is actually being changed. This year has been one of extreme polarization, and my new content schedule, pipeline and mentality is a reflection of the experience I've had going through all of that. There has been a lot of great moments and a lot of bad, so in an effort to balance my life out I've decided to take the time and implement a better strategy. This strategy takes into account the forces that have been persistent in pushing me to change. The hope is that when I can start directly confronting these challenges, I'll be able to rise above them.
So what are these forces? I would say that there are 4 categories: My health and well-being, sense of creativity, evolving landscape of social media sites and the experience I've accumulated. Before I wrote this blog, I had a fairly general idea of what I wanted to do and how I wanted to grow as an artist. It never went much deeper than that, but these forces have, over time made themselves harder and harder to ignore.
There comes a point in life when you realize the only way you can grow is if you stop acting and listen. Listen to what people say, listen to your heart and brain and consider your objective position before you make your next step. I am at this exact point now, and it's a critical point in my path where I get to decide what I will do to make myself happy.
Winds of Change
As I stated, there are a bunch of forces in my life that's urging me to change course. The strongest one would be my health and happiness. It sounds dramatic at first, and in some ways it was an important revelation. Don't worry I'm not sick or anything like that, just more conscious of my aging body. We all have limits and I think I've finally met mine, so in an effort to curb bad habits, I'm taking preemptive action and looking out for what makes me healthy and happy. I love making these shorts, but staying at this level of activity is honestly very physically draining.
Things would be different if I didn't have a full-time job and I was able to find my living with my work, but I'm not there yet so I have to compromise. The production process for the films and other personal issues I've had to deal with this year gave me a much needed reality check. In all my life, I have never been more burned out than at this point in time. While I am very happy with what I've accomplished, it came at the expense of my health and happiness. It's hard to have a social life, or exercise when you don't prioritize those things. To compound that, animation still takes a long time. Even with all the progress I've made to speed up my workflow (which is way, way better than it ever has been), it's still a time consuming process.
Ultimately it comes down to me wanting my life to be more than just being holed up in my room cranking out 'content'. I want to spend more time with loved ones, take better care of my body, because I deserve to and enjoy the beauty of this world. As I get older, the more I realize I have to be more mindful of my work/life balance. I can't afford to keep going g down the same path that I've been on after all these years because it'll kill me, or at least leave me to be an angry and resentful husk of a man. I've started to be able to detect when those feelings begin to emerge and was shocked by how much I neglected this aspect of my life. I can't live like that anymore.
Creative Engine
The next issue that's been pushing me to change is my own creative sense. I am happy with the shorts I've made last year and this year, but I've noticed I feel less enthusiastic about making next year's shorts. I believe the issues I have is that I don't want to create with a deadline in mind, and I want my shorts to be bigger and more extravagant. Creating so many shorts is a nightmare, especially while working full-time. As I thought about it, I was unable to reconcile my desire to make better content along with keeping up with the frequency of the past 2 years while also caring about getting healthier. It's just not something I want to do. The stress wouldn't be worth it.
When I make a short film, I like to go all out, but it's difficult when I have to make so many films. I can't go all out without a sufficient amount of time. How do I know when I can go all out? When I get so excited about a story that all I can do is think about it. It's at that point where I know I'm creating something exciting and unique. I don't get that from the shorts I'm making now. That's not to say the shorts aren't worth getting excited about, I actually think these ideas are my best to date, but I know I can't give them the VIP treatment they deserve so my excitement gets muted, and than I just focus on making them. I don't want making a film feel like a boring job. If I don't feel revitalized by the idea, how can I expect other people to?
Another facet of this is a sense of experimentation. I've long wanted to do more experiments with my work, but again, if all I have time for is to push out the next short, there's not much time for fun and getting messy. Experimentation is incredibly important to the creative process. In fact, I'd wager it's the most important part. Taking risks, succeeding or failing is integral to feeling fulfilled as an artist (or even as a person!). Removing that part of the process feels like I'm cheapening the experience for myself. I can't grow as an artist or person without getting my hands dirty.
I am grateful that I have been able to squeeze in some instances of experimentation in my current schedule. It's definitely taught me the importance of planning. I think the middle ground would be for me to have scheduled time to experiment, which I do have currently, but in a very minuscule amount. I want to expand that to have a lot more time being experimental. It's an important investment into myself that will payoff huge dividends, as it has consistently in the past.
Lastly, I will still be telling stories. Storytelling is my bread and butter and that won't be changing anytime soon. In fact, this change in my schedule and planning should allow me to focus more on my storytelling than I have been. I'll talk more about this in the next blog, but becoming a better storyteller and entertainer is still my number one goal, I'm just becoming more privy regarding what I have to prioritize at this point of my growth.
Hostile World
It's no secret that I want to live off of my work, however I have found it very, very difficult to grow an audience. At this point I mostly rely on social media to grow (which as you will read is not the best basket to put all your eggs in). It's easy to get caught up in the social media influencer Gold Rush, and I definitely am a victim of it. To make matters worse, now that companies have an idea of what they want to do to generate money, organic growth is near impossible. To exacerbate the issue are all the people out there that are fighting to achieve the same things and the frequency sites like Instagram or YouTube change their algorithms.
The main sites prioritize engagement and length of time over all else these days, which puts animators like myself in a very bad position. In layman's terms, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Animation, even rough or sloppy work can take a long time to put together don't virtue of the type of medium I use, I am waging more than just a video, I'm waging more of my time, health, freedom, money and patience. I don't want to sound like I'm blaming anyone for this, I'm not. I was always aware of the risk, but it is also frustrating to see creative platforms not come up with a way where everyone can benefit.
This all made me realize a very important lesson. I was doing my damnedest to make the websites change for me, as opposed to changing to their landscape. I've always believed one good piece of content can change your life, so that's what I put my focus on. I still believe that, but my definition of what good content is, isn't as rigid anymore. I've come to terms that my success will probably be linked to how well I can play within the boundaries these websites set and to be flexible enough that when the rules change, they either won't effect me or I can adapt quickly.
This new perspective doesn't mean I'm going to create throwaway or cynical content to cash-in, I just can't ignore what the best practices for these sites are anymore. Making high quality stuff is something that's always been important to me, and that won't change, but sometimes in order to build you have to destroy.
In Good Time
The last force for change is my own experience. It's perhaps the most subtle force, due to its accumulation over time, but it is incredibly important. I am a big proponent of making mistakes, and getting your hands dirty. It's one of the best ways of accumulating experience. That being said, I have made many mistakes when I was young. I wouldn't change those experiences for the world as they helped me grow and accelerate as an artist.
One of the most important lessons time has taught me was to go with a plan. Even if it's a small one. When pursuing the unknown, it helps to have an idea of what you want to get out of it. There is of course the reality that sometimes plans don't work, but once you've tried something once and failed, if you are able to try again, you go in with newly acquired experience that can help you navigate around your hurdles. When I started pursuing growth via social media, I didn't have much of a plan. There's a bit of irony here because I tend to plan many aspects of my life, so for me to go in so blindly is... Uncharacteristic. I think I just wanted to focus on creating shorts over anything else. It was a rookie mistake but now I am taking the necessary time to properly plan my path forward.
What does that plan look like? Frame of Mind is still the ground of it all and that won't be changing. I had a feeling that one day I would be pushed to this point, which is why I made Frame of Mind so stylistically versatile and spent so much time updating and streamlining assets. I have a history of dumping all my progress and starting from scratch, and I made Frame of Mind with the intention that it could never be fully dropped. The shorts could be delayed, remade, or whatever but never canceled due to its inherit attachment to my life. I made it a priority to carry this series in some form for as long as I am physically able to. This will allow me to expand my capabilities due to the accumulated resources I develop over time.
I've been developing and refining this new strategy over the past month and I believe it's exactly what I needed to not only get ahead, but to be able to pursue my art while keeping a semblance of balance in my life. As I've said before, I've been extremely burned out this year, and there have been times I wanted to walk away despite all of the work and effort I put into these shorts. With that in mind I’ve tried to develop this strategy so I don't have to feel that way about my art ever again. I want to revitalize my interest in making short films and that meant addressing core issues of my priorities.
As I write this blog, I already feel more at ease. The fire I've thought I lost it's starting back up, and I've been so much more productive and happy over the past couple of weeks. So while this is all a risk, it's already paying off for me personally. As I said before, I'll divulge the actual specific changes I'll be making in the next blog, and I'm excited to talk more about it soon.
Outro
I know this is a lengthy post, but I owe it to those who take the time to visit my blog and read my thoughts to keep them updated on my current and future direction. One day I believe I will be able to make content full-time, but I'm just not there yet. Some people get lucky with connections, or creating something that immediately resonates with people and others have to build slowly over time. I don't know which category I fall in, but I do know it'll be a long road and take time, but eventually I'll get there.
I'm very grateful to those who have stuck with me over the years. Your support means a lot to me and is what keeps me pressing forward. I promise to keep pushing myself to make the best content that I can, even with these changing circumstances. If you're interested in getting a glimpse of what that content will be, I'll be detailing my plans for 2020 by the next blog, which I'll be writing immediately after this one (and should be up within a week or two).
Thanks for reading!